Counselling
I like to think of counselling & psychotherapy as a journey of self-discovery, aimed at bringing more peace, self-confidence and happiness. When people start, they often ask me the same questions: How long will it last? What techniques will we use? What will the process be like?
Of course, the therapeutic process is based on the therapist’s knowledge of certain key approaches and theories. However, the reality is that every human being is completely unique, a combination of their distinctive set of DNA, character, as well as past and current experiences. As a result, each person’s therapeutic journey will be completely unique too. It is the beauty of therapy.
That being said, my main approach can be described as a person-centered, humanistic one. This means that I consider the relationship between therapist and client to be of great importance for the outcome of therapy. While this forms the basis of my work, I usually adopt an integrative approach combining the person-centered approach with one of the following:
- Psychodynamic approach: a therapeutic approach that assumes dysfunctional or unwanted behaviour is caused by unconscious, internal conflicts and focuses on gaining insight into these motivations. For example, we may have become used to functioning in a certain way for years – or even decades – but come to a point where we feel truly unhappy. We sometimes have a role that was assigned to us when we were young but don’t feel that this is us anymore. We want to break free in order to be more connected to our true self. We might also have developed defence mechanisms that helped us cope with specific events. These coping strategies – helpful at the time, are now preventing us from building meaningful and harmonious relationships with others. In these instances, revisiting the past can help us get rid of these unhealthy patterns and move forward, towards a more fulfilling life.
- Body-oriented approaches including mindfulness (see section below) and stress management techniques: anxiety cannot arise within the mind if the body is completely relaxed. For that reason, I also focus on physical sensations and use different stress management techniques aimed at easing tensions. For example, spending a few minutes focusing on the breath and body at the start of a session can put the mind in a much better state to allow for a richer exploration of emotions and feelings.
Anxiety, depression, grief and loss, relationship issues, lack of self-confidence, are some of the main reasons people seek help. Yet, it is very likely that as therapy progresses, more themes will emerge, and issues will be tackled that hadn’t been identified at the start. So it is very important to approach therapy with an open mind and curiosity, and to understand that the process isn’t a linear one, and will sometimes be very different from what we thought it would be.
Finally, a word about the distinction between counselling and psychotherapy: it can often be confusing, as both terms can describe similar experiences. Generally, counselling is used to address specific issues occurring in the present, and the duration of treatment may be shorter. On the other hand, psychotherapy tends to explore issues that have origins in the past but continue to impact a person’s life, often requiring more in-depth exploration. In reality, it can be challenging to clearly differentiate between the two approaches. As a therapist, I am trained to adapt to what you need and want, regardless of the label.
Mindfulness
With the rise of modern technologies and social media, and the way we are bombarded with a huge amount of information on a daily basis, our attention span has diminished greatly, and with it our capacity to be fully present in the moment. Whether we need to focus on a work project or share a cup of tea with a friend, or simply enjoy a walk in nature, the temptation is always there to look at our screens. The more we do that, the more we get used to being distracted and the less we are able to focus.
Another characteristic of modern society is the speed at which we are going. The expectation is to always go faster and do more. As we are not machines, this inevitably leads to increased levels of anxiety and stress-related issues like burnout and depression.
So, it is not a coincidence if mindfulness has become so popular over recent years. What other cultures instinctively knew to be true for millennia is now also proved by modern neuroscience.
What is mindfulness and how can it help?
Mindfulness is the basic human ability to be fully present, aware of where we are and what we are doing, and not overly reactive or overwhelmed by what is going on around us and within us. The more we practise, the more we realise that we don’t need to get caught up in all the stories, fantasies, thoughts and catastrophizing scenarios of the mind.
As we become more aware of our direct experience including thoughts, physical sensations and emotions, we also get better insights into what drives us. In other words, we stop being on automatic pilot and start living more consciously. This opens many doors and gives us room for growth and change.
All of this can only be achieved through learning to pause, to slow down in our life. It is of course a real challenge considering the constant demands of the modern world. There is no magic pill to do that. It requires discipline and the willingness to make lifestyle changes.
Professionally, I got the opportunity to teach mindfulness in different settings including the private sector (Facebook, EM Normandie Business School, fellow therapists) and the public sector (French Embassy in Ireland). Whenever possible, I integrate the many benefits of mindfulness during one-on-one therapy sessions.
Personally, I have attended many retreats over the years - some of them silent, including a seven-day Residential Training Program “MBSR in Mind-Body Medicine” in Rome, Italy, with Jon Kabat-Zinn and Saki Santorelli, and a two-week long retreat at Plum Village, France, with Thich Nhat Hanh. As best as I can, I aim to practise mindfulness on a daily basis to benefit from its many positives in my own life.
Do not hesitate to get in touch if you would like to know more about mindfulness and its benefits, either for yourself or as a way to improve your employees' well-being.